Recognition and the place for Criticism and Praise

Can you recall when last you were recognised, acknowledged, thanked or praised in your workplace and in your home? It sure feels good, doesn’t it?

However, could it be that it was probably a while back?

And when last have you thanked or praised or recognised or acknowledged someone in your workplace or in your home, for adults and children?

Could it be that it was probably a while back as well?

Most of us thrive on recognition. What a simple and powerful means of relationship and team building. Yet I am amazed how few people remember to do this and how many opportunities to encourage or motivate people important to us we let go by, particularly if we are in leadership roles (personal or business).

May I suggest how easy an attitude enhancer and positive behaviour encouragement this is?

I have learned a few simple rules that can make a big difference in our relationship building;

Praise

I like to recommend always praising publicly if you can (in addition to doing so one on one).  I have learned that some people don’t like to be publicly praised, so you need to feel that out and respect that.

However, most importantly, your praise needs to be genuine. Those around you are usually intelligent people and can see through contrived praise for the sake of praise.

Criticism

There are some equally important rules that many leaders of people ignore when it comes to criticism and consequently can do serious damage to those around them (both at work and at home).

I have learned never to criticise anyone publicly. Criticism, when required, needs to always be done one on one and preferably after you have asked the person permission to do so.

Criticism should never be destructive; it should be constructive to encourage the behaviour you want to highlight.

Criticise the behaviour, not the person. Emphasise the opportunity and the positives when giving criticism.

In my diplomacy grooming and training I strongly advocate trust and respect and the art of honouring people, as well as the concept of avoiding the other person “losing face”. This is particularly relevant in Asian communities, but I like to teach my clients that this is so important for everyone we deal with.

Simply put in the context of this article: consider the feelings of the other person before you criticise. Try to “leave them somewhere to go”. For example, I like to levy criticism with a question rather than a statement, particularly if it could be a sensitive issue for that person. That leaves the person a “way out”, whilst usually inwardly accepting the message.

So in this coming week, why don’t you become more aware of where you can (genuinely) recognise a good thought or deed and find opportunities to (genuinely) praise good work? I know that it will not only “make your day” but improve that of those around you. And you know what: I think you might just notice a few recognitions coming back to you…